To the editor,
I would like to commend our esteemed prime minister and his so tough on crime followers for banning and confiscating such a full and comprehensive list of very scary and dangerous firearms and therefore getting these firearms out of the hands of those despicable and dangerous criminals that may own one.
I would also like to commend the brave people in uniform in Lethbridge who at great personal risk, so quickly and decisively brought down the heavily armed alien stormtrooper who was terrorizing the streets of Lethbridge. Without their quick action who knows how many innocent people may have been hurt by what I assume must have been a death ray weapon of some sort, which I would assume will now be added to the “list.”
I know that I will sleep much better at night knowing that these two groups of so competent and able people are watching out for my well being. I will no longer worry about being attacked in my home by a mad man with an 80mm mortar or a rocket launcher as they are on the “list,” nor will I have to worry about being attacked by storm troopers with ray guns as I am sure they will now be on the “list,”
Thanks once again (for nothing),
70 Mile House