Tomato soup

A weekly family column for the 100 Mile Free Press

I’m pleased to announce I’ve fully mastered every aspect of cooking and have nothing further to learn as far as cooking goes.

My wife and I were discussing what we were going to have for dinner this weekend.

Cooking is actually something I’ve always considered myself fairly decent at (compared to most things at least), albeit incredibly messy; my wife likes to joke that after I’m done she has to clean the floors, walls and ceiling. Sadly, I’m not sure she’s actually joking. When I cook dinner it’s always without a recipe and, usually, it turns out pretty well flavour-wise if I can say so myself.

However, soups are a different beast altogether. Unsurprisingly, when I told her I would make tomato soup for dinner she said “oh great. Lucky me.”

The last soup I made was a cauliflower soup, or at least that’s what it was meant to be.

After roasting the cauliflower and blending it all together, it had almost no flavour. So I added garlic, garlic and more garlic. By the end, there was a whole head of it in there. To make matters worse, because I was adding it later in the cooking process and raw, it had retained much of the raw flavour.

Clearly, the flavour was still not exactly pleasurable, so I added a bunch of cumin (which my mother seems to add to everything).

This resulted in a bunch of strong flavours battling it out, resulting in everyone dying. Consequently, the soup was just as mild as the plain roasted cauliflower but now burned all the way down.

I’m not sure if my wife ate the extra for lunch at some point or just got rid of it. I’m sure Gordon Ramsay would have yelled something along the lines of his dead grandmother being able to do better.

Now if this was the first time it had happened, it might have been forgivable but it was not. This was at least the fourth or fifth soup that was wholly indefensible. In my defence, when it comes to soup, my wife has also produced some real stinkers.

Magically, it actually turned out edible this time around; so, I brought the leftovers to work for lunch myself instead of leaving it for her.

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