My baby has really started getting a move on.
In addition to a baby gate, there’s what can only be described as a fence guarding the fireplace. It’s also keeping the baby separated from the dog. The dog, while fabulous with children, is quite hairy and shedding. Even with the newly acquired vacuum over Christmas (I don’t think there are many presents I’ve seen her more excited while I’ve known her) it doesn’t take long before the baby’s covered.
Yesterday, while my wife stole my seat, I sat down on the “fence” much to her perpetual dismay at my practice of sitting on things that are not chairs. With a dose of sass, she said she’s going to put labels on the things that are safe to sit on. Reading to my son regularly before he goes to bed, stories with all kinds of valuable life lessons, I thought I’d put my wife’s dismay in story form so my son can also learn about it:
How a grinch
is made
By Max Winkelman
We must not sit on chess boards, even when they look like stools,
they cannot hold us and make us look like fools.
Daddy must not sit in cradles, even when it is with you,
that makes mommy upset and she goes boo boo boo.
Even a metal fence is no good, is what mommy says,
it’s not meant to hold people so it’s under too much stress.
Even if by accident, the cat is not a good place to sit,
that’s how you end up getting bit!
You’ve climbed onto the dog a time or two,
which daddy thinks is fine because she doesn’t give a hoo.
But even daddy must insist you use a chair,
instead of sitting on all that loose dog hair.
Most of all daddy thinks you should be aware,
mommy asserts she’s the boss even if it comes to something as simple as to what you can use as a chair!