LETTER: Parliamentary Nativity Play

A letter to the editor by Bernie Smith

To the editor,

At this time of the year, young schoolchildren used to regularly perform in a Nativity Play. Since Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) and the Generation Snowflake took an icy grip on Canada and most countries in the Western world, many schools are instead opting for a secular all-inclusive Winter Celebration. To keep old Christmas traditions alive, the thought crossed my politically-incorrect mind about casting Ottawa politicians in a parliamentary nativity play. After all, there are MPs of all stripes in the House of Commons to choose from; let’s see who would fit the playbill, and let’s begin with the infant icon, Baby Jesus.

The first choice has to be Prime Minister Justin Trudeau who was born on Christmas Day in 1971, about two millennia after the manger scene in the Bethlehem cattle-shed allegedly happened. He’s always been seen as a man-child, and recently his childishness was in full display at Buckingham Palace with the NATO open-mic fiasco. However, he is a fully-grown man — physically, if not mentally — but it may be a squeeze fitting his extra-large ego into a manger, anyway. Compromising photos emerged during the recent election campaign, and his love of playing Mr. Dress-up was almost his downfall then, as it was during disastrous Bollywood overexposures during 2017’s official trip to India with his family. So these repeated dress-up-mess-ups definitely disqualify him from wearing those obligatory swaddling clothes in the Ottawa manger.

Further castings for Mary and Joseph should be from senior MPs, but records indicate that it’s impossible to find a virgin or a carpenter among the 338 elected officials, so two more important roles are unfulfilled. Then there’s the really big problem of finding Three Wise Men in the House of Commons. Most politicians are regularly described in the media as spurious, devious, crafty, untruthful and many other similar adjectives, but seldom are they acknowledged to be “wise”. That only leaves MPs to be cast as the lowly shepherds, and another problem is raised by how the Westminster parliamentary system works. MPs are expected to sheepishly follow orders of political leaders and party whips; they are certainly not shepherds, but more like their woolly charges. Bearing in mind that vegan SJWs are blaming bovine intestinal gases for Climate Change, we are left with a House Of Commons’ cattle-shed full of flatulence and sheep. Without a cast of Ottawa politicians to fit the bill, maybe it’s not such a great idea to hold a parliamentary nativity play. HO!! HO !! HO!!

Wishing all of you working at the newspaper, and all of your readers, A Very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

Bernie Smith

Parksville

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