I’ve had my fair share of watching high-level athletes perform in various sports over the course of my short journalistic career and as a long time sports fan, but as a (former) athlete I always leave wondering how these athletes can perform in front of large crowds of people without running away in fear.
When I was still playing age-grade rugby for Boyne, a club in Drogheda, Ireland, we had to play a quarter-final against another club.
There were probably around 200 people packed into the stands on the school’s grounds that resembled a Texan high school’s football field more than it did an Irish school’s rugby field. It felt more like 1,000 people were there to me though.
I was slated to start the game on the wing after coming back from a particularly bad knee injury but as we were warming up, I was too busy trying not to swallow my tongue. The pressure was on, however, nobody told my stomach. I wasn’t this nervous even when I had to portray the Fairy Godmother in my school’s Christmas play of Cinderella, which definitely had more people watching.
Next thing you know, I was delivering my breakfast of pancakes into the trash can to the bewilderment of most of my teammates and jeers of the audience.
I looked up at the worried, concerned and somewhat disgusted face of my coach like a deer caught in the headlights of an 18-wheeler truck. He didn’t say anything, rather waiting for me to say something. It was a Mexican-stand off but without any guns. Finally, I kind of shrugged and shook my head even though I regretted it while doing so. He somberly nodded and told another kid he would be taking my spot. Secretly hating my replacement at that moment and probably hating myself even more, I went back to the warm-up.
The player who replaced me ended up getting injured in the second half and lucky for me, the coach had enough faith in me to keep me on the bench rather than ruling me out altogether. I came on, still sweating buckets and fighting to hold down the rest of whatever was left in my stomach. The audience was laughing it up when I jogged into position but the joke was on them. I ended up probably playing the best second half of rugby in my career.
After I caught a high ball in our end - my first touch - the nerves went away. Putting yourself out there can be frightening but you can never be successful if you don’t put all your cards on the table. I guess it just took me some time near a garbage can to figure that one out.