First annual Christmas deep fry?

A weekly family column for the 100 Mile Free Press

As I’m starting to write this, my wife is sitting grouchily in front of me on the couch (though I must admit, I couldn’t tell you the specifics on how one sits grouchily).

My sister-in-law had saved up some empty glass milk bottles and, upon returning them, decided to use the money to buy crocodile meat, promptly bringing it over for Christmas dinner.

Not entirely sure on how to cook crocodile, the first attempt was with a beer batter in the deep fryer.

Before long, there were some pan-fried samples and, finally, the some of the pan-fried samples were deep fried.

It seemed to be nearly universally decided that it didn’t have very much flavour. However, it really made me want to have deep fried food.

At home, I whipped out a pan poured in oil, cranked the heat and started slicing some potatoes.

I threw the freshly cut fries into the hot oil and bam super delicious fries. The next day, having been to town for some boxing day shopping, we still had the oil around and, being hungry, started making some more. I cranked the heat to the same setting, sliced a potato and found that the oil wasn’t hot enough yet.

I briefly stepped aside to deal with the baby and promptly forgot I had even started it until you could hear the oil. Going back into the kitchen, I started throwing fries in a few at a time. However, because I had waited so long, the oil was much hotter and even throwing in only a few at a time, the oil nearly immediately went over the edge of the pan.

Some minor chaos ensued.

To aggravate the situation, I had a bunch of work left for this weeks paper. Consequently, my wife was designated to clean it up.

After a lot of scrubbing, it’s better, although according to her it’s still really bad (I guess I could light it to burn any remaining oil?).

To put things into my wife’s perspective, she told me I’m a smart person, immediately followed by the question, “why do you keep making really dumb mistakes?”

On the plus side, she says she’ll start keeping a list of all the incomprehensible things I do so it’ll be easier to come up with stories for this column.

“The other day you went outside three times to start the car and didn’t start the car,” she adds.

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