Becoming an adult is like walking into a strange, ambiguous web of decisions and events, in which you must navigate through all on your own.
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to measure up to, but all I know is that I am trying my best.
In the last three months, I think I have done more “growing up” than I have in the last three years of living at home.
When I made the decision to move, I knew I wasn’t quite ready, but I also knew that if I didn’t, I never would be.
They say, your 20s is the decade that defines the rest of your life - well, that is terrifying because there is no manual on how to be an adult.
A few weeks ago, I noticed I was becoming more comfortable in situations that would otherwise make me feel uncomfortable. When I did something wrong, I used to brush it off. But now, it weighs down on me like a drape of guilt. I’m learning I need to correct my mistakes or at the very least own up to them. Mistakes can lead to confrontation and that is something I have always tried to avoid. Instead of running from it, I am learning to face it and work through it.
Late nights are far and few. As the weekend rolls in, I am no longer looking forward to going out, but finally getting time to clean my apartment from top to bottom. I appreciate a clean, organized and aesthetically pleasing space. It says a lot about a person, to me anyways.
I don’t spontaneously do things for the hell of it anymore. I see my friends back home carrying on with life as nothing has changed, which it hasn’t but it has for me. That frustrated me at first because I felt like I was missing out, but I know what I am doing is going to be very beneficial for my future. When I look back in five years, I will be glad I did this.
Now, I have a routine which is something I didn’t have before but wanted and it seems to be working.
I’ve gone from aimlessly spending hundreds of dollars on clothes and shoes, to spending my money rationally, on mundane things like Tupperware (which is exciting).
Instead of searching for the next thing to waste money on, I am starting to consider a tax-free savings account and saving up for things such as a new car.
To be honest, I didn’t think this would come to me as fast as it did, but when you get thrown out to the wolves, you learn quick.
I took a lot of things for granted and I think that was wrong of me to do. I am gaining a real sense of self and I now appreciate the small things and truly understand how hard my parents worked to give me the best upbringing they could.
Over the last three months, I don’t think I have changed much, still the same person but with a new updo. I like this new version of myself - he’s becoming wiser, smarter and more considerate than ever.
I want to be the son my parents are proud of and be a leading example for my younger brother can look up to.
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