A dark omen

We have a bathroom attached to our bedroom and the door doesn’t lock. That’s not usually an issue because other than my wife and I nobody really uses it and when the door’s closed the other one knows what that means. However, if my son is batman, closing a door is like turning on the bat signal.

If you close a door, any door really, it’s unequivocally followed by a fast and shallow “thump, thump, thump.” Usually, it’s quickly followed by “batman” bursting through the door with his signature line “daddy peeing!”

If that wasn’t enough to terrify unsuspecting and suspecting bathroom users alike, “batman” has added a new move to his repertoire. This week following the closing of the door, there was the near-immediate “thump, thump, thump.” Next, the door flung open but instead of “daddy peeing!” an eerie silence followed. My mother always told me that when we got quiet as kids, that was reason for concern. That thought did not occur to me at the time. Consequently, when I suddenly felt a sharp stinging pain in the back of my leg my reflex was to push the offending instrument away. As it turns out, the “offending instrument” was “batman” biting me in the back of the leg, having got a really good pinch of the skin.

“Batman” fell backwards and bonked his head, a relatively minor injury, but, like the darkness in which “batman” prefers to dwell, was a sign of what was to come. Nonetheless, “batman” quickly started crying.

Later in the week, after settling in in a hotel in Kamloops waiting for my wife to go into labour, “batman” spent a whole day going around town. He went visiting dangerous animals in the wildlife park, played in a playground with much older superheroes before retreating to the “bat cave.” In the “bat cave” he spent some time jumping on the nice soft bed before falling on said soft bed amongst the pillows.

Apparently, “batman” is at greatest risk in the safest environments when he’s least on guard because he spent the next three hours in the emergency room with a bum arm.

Luckily the doctor, presumably named “Alfred,” was able to patch him back up so he could go back to terrifying unsuspecting and suspecting bathroom users the very next day.

Meanwhile, “Martha Wayne” has been snickering about “batman” biting “Thomas Wayne” all week.


Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Just Posted

From the archives of the 100 Mile Free Press

29 Years Ago (1990): Starting on Sept. 1, smokers had better checked… Continue reading

Cow Moose Sign founder wants LEH for antlerless moose hunt in B.C. stopped

“Shooting a cow moose — it’s just not the right thing to do, especially in this region”

Cost-free adult crafting classes come to the South Cariboo this September

‘What I want to promote is a group having fun, something to come to that doesn’t cost them’

What was your favourite part of the Summer Reading Club at the library?

Pawan Nijjar 100 Mile House “The crafts and the prizes we got… Continue reading

VIDEO: B.C. woman meets biological mother, 38 years later

Mother never gave up hope of finding daughter, despite all the obstacles

B.C. VIEWS: Pipelines set to roll as federal politicians posture

Projects to drive B.C., Canadian economy in years ahead

B.C. Lions fall to 1-9 after 13-10 loss to Ticats

Lowly Leos have dropped six straight CFL contests

VIDEO: B.C. woman meets biological mother, 38 years later

Mother never gave up hope of finding daughter, despite all the obstacles

B.C. man who died after rescuing swimmer was known for helping others

Shaun Nugent described as a dad, a coach, a hero and ‘stand-up guy’ at celebration of life

B.C. RCMP plane chases fleeing helicopter as part of major cross-border drug bust

The helicopter eventually landed at a rural property near Chilliwack

Thousands cycle to conquer cancer

The 11th annual Ride to Conquer Cancer took place Saturday morning, Aug. 24 in Surrey, B.C.

PHOTOS: Brazil military begins operations to fight Amazon fires

Amazon fires have become a global issue, escalating tensions between Brazil and European countries

Racist confrontation in Richmond parking lot caught on camera

Woman can be heard yelling racial slurs, swear words at woman in apparent parking dispute

Most Read