Barbara Roden
Free Press
Holidays are a time for family and traditions, which makes it a difficult period for those who have suffered bereavement, especially the loss of a child.
Christmas is particularly hard, says Andrea Martin.
Martin is the facilitator for Compassionate Friends, a support group for bereaved parents and families that meets at 6 p.m. on the second Tuesday of each month at BJ’s Donuts & Eatery.
“Things like Christmas concerts and buying gifts for a child may not be happening. Lots of things come up at this time of year, and if the loss is fresh, then you may not be in a place to celebrate.”
Martin encourages families dealing with the loss of a child to be realistic, and plan their Christmas activities accordingly.
“Do what you enjoy the most. Look at your holiday traditions and see what still fits for you, and make changes that make things less painful.”
She notes that it’s important to reach out to friends and relatives and let them know what they can do to help.
“They don’t want to see you hurt and in pain, but they’re not mind-readers.”
On Dec. 13, Compassionate Friends will hold its annual candle-lighting memorial, which is open to any bereaved parent or family member. Those who can’t get there can contact Martin at 250-395-4417 and ask to have a candle lit for them.
Martin is also available to speak one-to-one with anyone who feels uncomfortable in a group setting.